It doesn’t take religion to raise a kid with good values, says Minnesota writer, editor and teacher Dale McGowan in his new anthology. This article points out the obvious to us atheists and secularists alike. As obvious as it may be to freethinkers, it’s clearly not to all religious folks.
McGowan, 44, a father of three who lives in Robbinsdale, believes that teaching secular children to be compassionate, critical thinkers is not only possible, but more honest.
Honesty is key to raising a more reasonable youth. My mother would tell me stories of the tooth fairy, even when I knew better. I was upset she lied for a while. She was never really able to admit she lied; she continued stating the tooth fairy does exist even into my twenties, all while giving me a silly smile as if you convey the correct message. (Sadly, same thing with “The Stork”.) Parents lie to kids about so many things and it’s sickening. Kids are precious and take everything at face value, especially from their parents/guardians. Lying only drives a bigger wedge into that trust parents wish to develop later on.
McGowan goes on to explain his main message to parents in Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion:
One: Never fear a question. The whole idea of free thought is that you sit down before a fact like a little child, then follow it wherever it leads. My own kids have gone to a Lutheran preschool. I’m happy to have them exposed to religious ideas; the only ones I won’t tolerate are hell and the assertion that doubt is bad. I say, let the child ponder ideas and run with them.
Two: Avoid saying that something is the way it is “because I said so.” Take the time to give a reason in discussions about truth or morality.
Three: The failure of empathy is responsible for a tremendous amount of destruction in the world. It’s dangerous to divide ourselves from others and demonize them.
Four: One of the ways to ease the pain of death so people don’t have to run for religious comfort is to accept and acknowledge its reality.
Ever heard of good parenting? The promise of flames and fires for doing something wrong IS NOT good parenting; it’s lazy parenting. It’s also important we recognize reality, hence why atheists talk about religion more than they would care to (in an ideal world). There is a current predicament where there is one religious dogma or another that permeates throughout any chosen area. Strong Christians are helping to spread AIDS in America, other countries (and everywhere Christians set up Missionaries, i.e. Africa). Telling a country that has an AIDS count of 1:2 that they can’t use condoms is indecent, if not murderous. Let’s take longer to cure diseases and viruses, while helping perpetuate them…yeah…good idea! And America’s safe sex (AKA abstinence only – without masturbation) policy? Don’t get me started!
This is reality. As harmful as religion is, I am not in the business of trying to “convert” anyone. However, I can do my best to seek positive global change.
